Kissing is the language of love, so how about a conversation. Most people think they’re good kissers yet most of us can easily count numerous kissing disasters in our past. Time to let go of ego and find out where you stand on this fine Super Bowl 50 Sunday. Make the kisses you give your girl or significant other count after you ignore them for the next few hour of game-time and please do not even make an attempt at a post game, half-drunk, beer laden kiss. Thats just gross and a sure fail.
What kind of kisser are you? If these apply to you I suggest holding an intervention for yourself.
The Serial Killer
This is someone who will attempt to choke you with their tongue. Their goal is to get as much of their tongue into your mouth as possible. Unless a girl possesses an excellent gag reflex and doesn’t mind the slobber you’re better off with the motto “less is more.”
An occasional nibble is a good thing but this guy is out for blood. He bites lips, tongue, neck anything he can get his mouth on. This is a guy that has a girl dreading oral.
Bug Eyed Kisser
For a few seconds here and there taking a peek can be sexy. It shows a guy is present and focused on you but when he only closes his eyes to blink it makes you wonder what girl could possibly look good that close and if you hit him over the head will his eyes remain in that cross eyed position?
The Adrenaline Junkie
This guy gets bored fast and likes taking you along for the ride. Making out on the rollercoaster and while speeding down the freeway. If there is no chance of death there’s no chance of a kiss. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a girl is not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Too much tongue can be a bad thing but this guy makes you wonder if he has a tongue. An occasional flicker of the tongue keeps things lubricated.
The Ground Hog
Starts out like the cotton mouth when all of a sudden his tongue leaps out of his mouth into yours! Before you can reciprocate or react in any way it’s gone leaving you to wonder if it happened at all.
The Loud Kisser
MUAH, slurp, muah. It’s hard to get lost in the moment when each kiss comes with a almost cartoon like sound effect.
Part time kisser
These kisses are good.. It’s not the technique that makes this a negative it’s the lack of consistency. His ADHD goes into over drive as he switches up the style and pressure every few seconds.
The Ultimate Quarterback Kisser
This kisser definitely did not get drunk during the big game. He’s had his mouthwash, is fresh, clean and your knees buckle every time. He can take away your bad days and make your good days even better and most of all, it makes you completely forget the past few hours he has ignored you for a game where grown, sweaty men crash into each other and try to get a ball made of pig-skin over a line drawn in the grass with chalk. If its not obvious, this Kiss is guaranteed to lead to great sex!
Tips and Tricks to help you become a great Quarterback grade kisser
- For today, do NOT get drunk during the game.
- Cleans your mouth, stay fresh.
- Start with a closed mouth kiss then slowly open your lips until you can feel their lip in between yours.
- Optional: Trace her lips lightly with your tongue.
- Throw in a lip nibble and gently suck her tongue when she puts it into yours.
- Feel her out.
- You’re the quarterback here, take gentle but soft control and give her control whenever she’s ready to take it.
- Also, smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
On a final note, its amazing to be a part of the Bro My God team and to start working with all of its loyal followers and readers on Super Bowl Sunday! I’ll be here on the regular writing about how all of you can improve your sex lives, love lives and your relationships. So, follow me, Erika Jordan on Twitter, Instagram and bookmark Bro My God and lets get to it!