10 Disappointing Facts About St. Patrick’s Day

1. St. Patrick wasn’t Irish

Historians believe he was born in what is now England, Scotland or Wales.



2. St. Patrick’s color is blue

WE’VE BEEN LIVING A LIE. You might want to hold off on the green face paint this year.



3. St. Patrick’s Day was invented in America…’Merica!

Catholic University’s Irish American expert, Timothy Meagher, explains that St. Patrick’s Day celebrations began in the 18th century in American cities with large Irish immigrant populations.”It becomes a way to honor the saint but also to confirm ethnic identity and to create bonds of solidarity,” Meagher explained. Really.



4. March 17th is the day St. Patrick died

So you’re celebrating his death, you a**hole.



5. St. Patrick didn’t drive all the snakes from Ireland

Probably because there’s no evidence that snakes have EVER existed in Ireland. The climate is much too chilly for them.


6. The shamrock isn’t the symbol of Ireland

Sure, you can find shamrocks all over the Emerald Isle, but the real symbol is the harp.





7. St. Patrick’s Day used to be a dry holiday


Today’s booze-bags look to the holiday as a great excuse to start drinking Guinness at 9 AM. Until 1970, however, all pubs in Ireland were closed in observance of the religious feast day.



8. Corned beef and cabbage isn’t a traditional Irish dish

It’s just about as Irish as spaghetti and meatballs. You’re better off sticking to Guinness.



9. There are more Irish people living in the U.S. than Ireland

The population of Ireland is about 4.2. million. In contrast, there are around 34 MILLION people of Irish descent living in America.



10. Your odds of finding a four-leaf clover are slim to none

1 in 10,000 to be exact. Ouch.



But let’s end on a happy note. At least these two guys are Irish.


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One Response

  1. pussy article March 17th 2014 12:13 PM

    i dare you to say it to my face, you fahkin arsehole

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